I’ve forgotten how long it’s been since I’ve stopped looking at my work as the path to making a mark on the world – a way to make sure that a part of me is left behind when I leave this existence.
Nowadays it’s difficult to be enthusiastic about my work. Not that it’s not exciting or challenging or gratifying … it is all that and more … but more and more I see it as nothing but just a job.
This may come across as ungrateful, since those early days of teaching English, no doubt my career has taken an upward trend. And yet, I seem to find it difficult to be excited about working overtime, to come to work when I’m supposed to be on holiday.
Not that I have anything else to do. None of the excuses of quality time with the family for me. I simply can’t find joy in working when I’m supposed to be resting. Mind you, you won’t find me grumbling when I have to put in more hours at the office or when I have to bring my work home (this last one I prefer) … but I delight in having time off, doing nothing but lie in bed with a good book, or spending time with my playstation 2. I sound like a major geek!
Maybe it’s the age factor? Maybe it’s a yearning of something more from life but not knowing where to find it?
I don’t know where they’ve gone, those lost ideals.