School reunions

I hate going to school reunions. I would even make up wild stories just so I can get out of one (can’t make it, sorry, am moving to Hong Kong next week!). Unless of course the invitation clearly states “alum only, no children allowed”. Unfortunately, I have yet to receive such an invitation.

It’s not because I resent the (smug .. naa just kidding) marrieds, or envy them their kids. But because of the inevitable conversation – or variations of the conversation – below:

Married: Hi! It’s great seeing you! What are you doing these days?
Singleton: Well, I’m …
M: ANNIE!! Get off your brother!! What did I tell you about behaving in front of strangers?!?
S: ….
M: I’m sorry. Kids you know (rolling eyes). What was that you said?
S: I’m actually …
M: NO Jack! NO! That’s dirty! Diiirrrrrttttyyyyy!!!! (runs over to Jack)
S: Well, lovely to see you again (stroll off)
M: (distractedly) Yes, we must catch up sometimes … Stop that! STOP! Mummy’s angry at you …. (sound fades)

Or, if the spouse was actually also your school mate, somewhere in the above dialogue (probably after Diiirrrrrttttyyyyy!!!!):

Married: Mas, WILL you please help with Annie?
Spouse: Yes, dear (picks up Annie). Hey there S! You look great, married yet?
Singleton: No, no, not yet (force smile)
Married: Look she’s got food all over her dress, that will never wash off!
Spouse: It’s not that bad … Look I’ll just get a tissue paper there (walk off)
Married: No, no, you’ll only make it worse (walk off)
Singleton: ….

Eventually, the singleton will be standing there alone, the only one who’s realized that the school reunion has become a family outing with focus – instead of reminiscing over old times and catching up – on competitions for the kids and pony rides.

On a flip-side, I just remembered what another singleton told me once: that reunions are also a horor for stay-at-home mums. They fear of being asked about their jobs, and had to contend with “I’m a housewife” while their former playmates say:

“I’m a partner at lawfirm A”,
“I’m a director at company B”,
“I save whatever with NGO C”.

So, what is it with us women? Or do men have the same fears of school reunions?

School reunion brings together Indonesia’s uncles and aunts

The Jakarta Post, Monday, June 5, 2006

High school reunions. Love them or hate them, but when you are more than 80 years old, reunions are a nice reassurance that life has not forgotten you and that there are still some people who speak your language.

So it was at the high school reunion of the former Dutch-run Hogere burgerschool (HBS), Gymnasium, and Algemeen middelbare school (AMS) at the Sahid Hotel in Central Jakarta on Saturday.

The style was tinted hair, thick spectacles, hearing aids, and wheelchairs, but the conversation was like that at any other high school reunion — lively and heavy with nostalgia — and the language used was liberally peppered with good, old fashioned Dutch.

The festivities were only marred by the recent earthquake in Yogyakarta and Central Java. The organizer offered prayers for the victims and set up donation boxes at the reunion.

The participants were oom (Dutch for uncle) and tante (Dutch for aunt) who attended one of the three types of secondary school — HBS, Gymnasium and AMS — available in Indonesia between 1935 and 1950.

The 25 schools that participated in Saturday’s reunion were from Bandung and Bogor in West Java, Makassar in South Sulawesi, Malang and Surabaya in East Java, Medan in North Sumatra, Semarang and Surakarta in Central Java, Yogyakarta and Tomohon in North Sulawesi.

“It’s fun just to get together and meet so many old acquaintances,” 84-year-old tante Sophie Sarwono-Goenawan, mother of noted psychologist Sarlito Wirawan Sarwono, told The Jakarta Post.

Tante Sophie attended HBS Carpentier Alting Stichting (CAS) in Jakarta between 1935 and 1940, along with former Bank Indonesia governor Arifin Siregar and noted lawyer Nono Anwar Makarim.

She then attended the Faculteit der Letteren & Wijsbegeerte (faculty of letters and philosophy) until the Japanese invasion in 1942. After marrying surgeon Sarwono Prawiroatmodjo she taught English, German and French.

The reunion, the fourth since 2001, was the brainchild of Arifin Siregar who realized a joint reunion between those who had attended HBS, Gymnasium and AMS schools was possible as most of the alumni were familiar with each other.

“The schools used to organize reunions separately before,” Sophie said, explaining that as some of the first people in Indonesia to have a higher education, the alumni became the seeds for the country’s later intellectuals, government officials and diplomats.

Some of the noted names that came out of those schools include ex-diplomat Achmad Tirtosudiro, veteran journalist Rosihan Anwar, pre-independence activist and psychiatrist Jos Masdani, political expert Miriam Budiardjo, economist Mohammad Sadli, and former diplomat and shipping magnate Soedarpo Sastrosatomo.

“In the course of our work, we got to know people who attended HBS, Gymnasiums, and AMS in other parts of the country. That’s how the idea for a joint reunion got started,” Sophie explained.

Today the organization of the reunion no longer rests with the alumni themselves but has been passed on to their children and grandchildren, whom they call the generasi penerus (the next generation) or “generus” for short.

As the original group continues to dwindle — it lost 65 people between January 2003 and April 2006 — Sophie said she hoped the ties between the alumni would continue through the next generation.

“We were proud to have been able to contribute to the country that we love and we hope the next generation will continue this love for Indonesia and in turn can also make their own contribution,” Sophie said.