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Ramadan Quiz

September 11, 2009 · Leave a Comment

My team won the company’s Ramadan Quiz early this week, beating a team of pesantren graduates winner of last year’s Ramadan Quiz.

It was the first time that the department had won since the quiz’s inception five years ago. Everyone was surprised, none more than ourselves.

Only one of the team’s three members had no scruples about participating – a girl best known for her enthusiasm and raucous laughter. The other two members had to be cajoled and tricked into participating. One was a Papuan environmental PhD, the other an extrovert ex-radio DJ who could never refuse a good Lambrusco. The latter was chosen at the last minute when my tricky boss suddenly declared the DJ was a better contestant.

With such a lineup, the best that the rest of us could hope for was a good showing. I’ll bet that was what everyone else was thinking too when the three first entered the room. Boy, did the audience get a shock!

“And except for one, none of them had ever strictly adhered to the five daily prayers!” a colleague remarked in amazement.

So that got me thinking about religiousness. What constitutes as a religious person, more specifically, what makes a good Muslim?

Is it praying five times a day or more to count the sunnah? Is it being able to recite the Koran beautifully and quote its verses by heart ? Is it memorizing the dates and history of Islam? Is it knowing the meaning of various Arabic terms people consider “Islamic”?

I have never considered listening to the Tarawih preaching necessary, as I have found very few preachers worth listening to. Over the years, I have found them tedious, nitpicking Koran verses to suit their narrowmindedness or gender bias. I certainly do not consider someone who thinks the veil and segregation was necessary for the woman’s own good worth following, or listening to.

Does that make me a bad Muslim?

I choose not to wear the veil, I enjoy an occasional glass of wine or lychee martini, I can barely recite the Koran, and certainly can’t shoot off verses at random.

I show a little skin at times – we’re not in Arabia after all – and thinks that if Arabian women all unveiled, their men would probably soon tire of lusting after every little bit of skin. It’s human nature to be tempted by the forbidden after all, weren’t laws made to be broken?

Does that make me a sinner? Is it my fault that men can’t stop thinking about sex? Is it even my problem?

But, I don’t steal, I don’t have licentious thoughts about other people’s husbands, I’ve never murdered anyone nor have I ever planned to. I’ve never wilfully broken the law, I’ve always tried to obey the traffic signs (except when I’m on the ojek, and then I give the driver free reign), and I rarely bear anyone a grudge.

Does that make me a good citizen, but a bad Muslim?

I pray five times a day – more only when I feel like it, I give to the poor whenever I can (or remember to), and while I keep repeating the same prayers over and over, I actually do pray and believe in God.

But I don’t believe there’s a right or wrong religion. I believe that however you do it – over incense in a confuscious temple or with your forehead on a prayer mat – if you pray for good, God will hear of it.

Am I a good Muslim?

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On BlackBerries and the Facebook Factor

September 10, 2009 · Leave a Comment

Moms waiting to pick up their kids to school, teenagers hanging out with friends in a cafe, drivers waiting for their masters to finish work, businessmen in office elevators. What do they all have in common?

You would be surprised to know that Facebook and the BlackBerry are the two common denominators that brought these diverse groups together in Jakarta.

“If my maid sends a friend request to my Facebook account, should I accept?” asks Adjie, a tax advisor for an oil and gas company, to a group of friends recently. Laughter was what he got for an answer, but the problem is real enough.

Observe Faizal, since his in-laws registered to Facebook and added him as a connection, he no longer dares to make wild comments on this status, or post photos that would depict him other than a loving husband and father.

Three years ago all this would have been unthinkable. Today, it is not uncommon to see stay-at-home moms updating their facebook status on her BlackBerry Curve 8900.

Facebook has been touted to sparking the trend for reunions in Indonesia, and especially Jakarta. Old school friends connect, share stories, photographs, and organize meet-ups all because of the social networking site. It has also, undoubtedly, become one of the driving forces behind the popularity and ubiquity of the BlackBerry in Jakarta.

BlackBerries are nothing new, even in Indonesia. It was first introduced here in December 2004 by telecommunication operator Indosat and Starhub (Source) targeting the business executive market.

“BlackBerry is already the ‘must-have’ business tool for CEOs, executives, managers, employees and celebrities around the globe,” then Indosat Cellular Marketing Director, Hasnul Suhaimi, said in a press release dated Dec. 2, 2004. “We expect BlackBerry will be very popular with Indonesian companies and individuals, and will provide them with substantial productivity gains.”

But its exponential growth only started several years ago when its maker – Canadian company Research In Motion (RIM) – introduced popular instant messaging Yahoo! Messenger in 2005 (Source), then Facebook in 2007 (Source). With only 2 million users on its 20th anniversary in 2004 (Source) – which it doubled the following year – RIM now boasts a strong 28.5 million subscribers worldwide (Source).

In Indonesia, BlackBerry users have increased more than 500% within the past year. With 300 to 400,000 users to date, BlackBerry users is expected to reach more than 1 million people by the end of the year (Source).

Now, BlackBerry services are not only available to post-paid mobile phone customers, but also to pre-paid customers. And further increasing its customer base in Indonesia, RIM reportedly will soon introduce the service to CDMA customers as well.

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Driving another nail in my coffin

February 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment

How many nails has closed my coffin shut
How many more would it take until it’s sealed
Until hope is lost
Until passion withers and dries
Until love is but a memory
Until I die

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for whom the bell tolls

February 27, 2009 · Leave a Comment

“Perchance he for whom this bell tolls may be so ill, as that he knows not it tolls for him; and perchance I may think myself so much better than I am, as that they who are about me, and see my state, may have caused it to toll for me, and I know not that.

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.”

John Donne (1572-1631), Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions, Meditation XVII: Nunc Lento Sonitu Dicunt, Morieris

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School reunions

October 10, 2008 · Leave a Comment

I hate going to school reunions. I would even make up wild stories just so I can get out of one (can’t make it, sorry, am moving to Hong Kong next week!). Unless of course the invitation clearly states “alum only, no children allowed”. Unfortunately, I have yet to receive such an invitation.

It’s not because I resent the (smug .. naa just kidding) marrieds, or envy them their kids. But because of the inevitable conversation – or variations of the conversation – below:

Married: Hi! It’s great seeing you! What are you doing these days?
Singleton: Well, I’m …
M: ANNIE!! Get off your brother!! What did I tell you about behaving in front of strangers?!?
S: ….
M: I’m sorry. Kids you know (rolling eyes). What was that you said?
S: I’m actually …
M: NO Jack! NO! That’s dirty! Diiirrrrrttttyyyyy!!!! (runs over to Jack)
S: Well, lovely to see you again (stroll off)
M: (distractedly) Yes, we must catch up sometimes … Stop that! STOP! Mummy’s angry at you …. (sound fades)

Or, if the spouse was actually also your school mate, somewhere in the above dialogue (probably after Diiirrrrrttttyyyyy!!!!):

Married: Mas, WILL you please help with Annie?
Spouse: Yes, dear (picks up Annie). Hey there S! You look great, married yet?
Singleton: No, no, not yet (force smile)
Married: Look she’s got food all over her dress, that will never wash off!
Spouse: It’s not that bad … Look I’ll just get a tissue paper there (walk off)
Married: No, no, you’ll only make it worse (walk off)
Singleton: ….

Eventually, the singleton will be standing there alone, the only one who’s realized that the school reunion has become a family outing with focus – instead of reminiscing over old times and catching up – on competitions for the kids and pony rides.

On a flip-side, I just remembered what another singleton told me once: that reunions are also a horor for stay-at-home mums. They fear of being asked about their jobs, and had to contend with “I’m a housewife” while their former playmates say:

“I’m a partner at lawfirm A”,
“I’m a director at company B”,
“I save whatever with NGO C”.

So, what is it with us women? Or do men have the same fears of school reunions?

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